“Failure is part of being human.”– Lori Gottlieb
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response is our growth and our freedom.”– Lori Gottlieb
One day, Lori Gottlieb is a therapist who helps patients in her Los Angeles practice. The next, a crisis causes her world to come crashing down. Enter Wendell, the quirky but seasoned therapist in whose office she suddenly lands. With his balding head, cardigan, and khakis, he seems to have come straight from Therapist Central Casting. Yet he will turn out to be anything but. As Gottlieb explores the inner chambers of her patients’ lives — a self-absorbed Hollywood producer, a young newlywed diagnosed with a terminal illness, a senior citizen threatening to end her life on her birthday if nothing gets better, and a twenty-something who can’t stop hooking up with the wrong guys — she finds that the questions they are struggling with are the very ones she is now bringing to Wendell. With startling wisdom and humor, Gottlieb invites us into her world as both clinician and patient, examining the truths and fictions we tell ourselves and others as we teeter on the tightrope between love and desire, meaning and mortality, guilt and redemption, terror and courage, hope and change.
“There is no hierarchy of pain. Suffering shouldn’t be ranked, because pain is not a contest. Pain is pain. By diminishing our problems, we are judging ourselves and everyone else whose problems we place lower down on the hierarchy of pain. We can’t get through our pain by diminishing it. We get through it by accepting it and figuring out what to do with it. We can’t change what we are denying or minimizing. And, of course, often what seems like trivial worries are manifestations of deeper ones.”– Lori Gottlieb
“The nature of life is change and the nature of people is to resist change.”– Lori Gottlieb
If you only ever read one book in your life, it should be this one.
This book is filled with so much insight, not only for ourselves but others as well. Maybe it’s the Psychology lover in me, but I found this so interesting and intriguing. I loved hearing about therapy patients and the struggles they go through.
Gottlieb has a wide variety of patients with a variety of issues. From a young woman with cancer, to a narcissistic middle aged man, an elderly woman struggling with her past life choices, and a young woman who is trying to work through her past.
Not only do we hear from this variety of people, but also from Gottlieb struggles within her own therapy.
“Feelings are like weather systems- they blow in and out Just because you are sad this minute or this hour or this day doesn’t mean you’ll feel that way in ten minutes or this afternoon or next week. Everything you feel- anxiety, elation, anguish- blows in and out again.”– Lori Gottlieb
As said, I got so much out of this book, and it opened my eyes to so much. It really shines a light on mental health and shows that we all suffer from some type of mental instability at some point it our life. This book is open and honest and raw about therapy and it’s process. This book shows that a therapists job is not to tell us what to do, but to help us recognize our struggles and patters that may be causing us pain, not only that but it also shows how hard it is to face and recognize our imperfections.
The humanity in this book is astonishing and riveting, Gottlieb is so compassionate toward her clients, even the difficult ones. She shows this compassion and patience with her clients and it eventually shows in their therapy.
This book is full of emotion, from hysterically laughing one minute, to bawling my eyes out the next. It’s real, and raw, and so very eye opening to the issue of mental heath. An issues that gets over looked too often. Not only does it shed light on this issue, it also helps us to be more understanding and compassionate toward others. We all hid our emotions in very different ways, and this helps us to understand that that guy at the Walmart check out line who is rude and mean, may have just lost his wife, or son, or is struggling with childhood trauma.
Overall, this is a great book full of insight, compassion, and so much emotion.
“Even in the best possible relationship, you’re going to get hurt sometimes, and no matter how much you love somebody, you will at times hurt that person, not because you want to, but because you’re human. You will inevitably hurt your partner, your parents, your children, your closest friend – and they will hurt you – because if you sign up for intimacy, getting her is part of the deal.”– Lori Gottlieb